Signs of your man losing interest

Have you noticed that after a few dates or so, men stop returning you messages and they slowly end up ghosting you? Well, sometimes, it’s not him, it’s you.

5. Your personality is too strong too soon or too weak.
Sometimes, we can intimidate people we have just met with how opinionated, stubborn, or set-in-your-ways we come off. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be yourself but if who you are is a loud, angry person then maybe you should work on yourself before dating and scaring away people. On the other hand, you can’t let people walk all over you. I know, how the hell do you find the sweet spot in the middle, where you can be your crazy self? It’s a fine line but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know what aspects of your personality are off-putting and you need to work on.

4. You choose the wrong men. 
We all have a type and if your type is always letting you down, then it is time to reconsider your options. Maybe go for someone you wouldn’t ordinarily date, whether they are the opposite from you or just like you. Surrounding yourself in a place you wouldn’t usually go to is a great way to meet someone who you might not have considered before. Look at them with a fresh pair of eyes and don’t judge anyone prematurely. Don’t forget that just because you don’t find someone hot immediately, doesn’t mean you won’t find them attractive later. We all know by now that a great personality makes anyone more attractive.

3. Mixed messages. 
I’ve been there. You think aaout what to say beforehand to your new boo but the fear takes over and you send the wrong message, whether it’s through action or words. First things first, figure out what you want and communicate it, directly! Do you want to be casual? Serious? Fuck buddies? PS4 bros? We are too old for mixed messages and confusion. Think about what you want and tell him what it is before he starts assuming the worst. If he doesn’t want it, move on before he has a chance to exit.

2. Not enough attraction.
Sometime the attraction just isn’t there, and you can feel it. You feel that spark with someone when you are attracted to someone and without it, unfortunately. a relationship is doomed. ​You shouldn’t force love where lust lives and you shouldn’t force love where indifference lives. Same energy.

​1. Things got serious too fast.
When we feel something good, our natural reaction is to not want to let it go. Sometimes, in a new relationship, this can backfire badly as it tends to scare some men off. I know, I know, easier said than done, but force yourself to see other people, focus on hobbies and family, anything that helps you to avoid making this new man in your life the center of your universe. Let him earn that title first. 

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Back when I was casually dating David, we were seeing each other literally, every day. We even worked together. At first, it was perfect. We were having raw sex on the regular, going out to eat all the time and just spending time together with my friends, drinking cheap liquor and smoking “reggie.” But we never hung out with his friends and I didn’t realize this until later…I had welcomed him into my world but I knew nothing about his.

And then I felt him slowly pulling away. 

I didn’t want to even mention it, I was such a scared, weak individual back then. I just wanted to please him because I was so scared of him leaving me. 

Which he did anyway. He told me he was still heartbroken over his ex dumping him and that he could no longer see me. I was dumb enough to offer him a fuckbuddy situation (I know, I know) and I still never heard from him again. I’m positive my thirstiness was a huge turnoff. 

Months later, we spoke again (I don’t even remember how we got in touch again; years of smoking weed fucks up your memory) and while I was trying to make small talk about his new girlfriend. She was about 15 years older than him with children aged 8 and 11, and we were 19 at the time. He casually told me how they were all spending time together as a “family”! Imagine parenting an 11 year old when you are only 19 yourself.

Out of nowhere, he tell me that we shouldn’t talk as friends anymore because I was covetous of what he had with his new girlfriend. Now, I know my memory sucks but when we were chatting as friends I honestly had no feelings for him anymore and was genuinely just interested in his weird, new relationship. I was totally cool with him, at least on my end.

So why the hell did he believe I was still thinking about him?

As I forced my broken memory to work, I started to remember little details about his personality that bothered me that I always ignored because I was so sadly starved for male attention. One of these details being that he was so fucking full of himself that he never even asked about my life, just went on and on and on about his. I am literally eye-rolling as I remember this shit. Of course this guy thought that everyone was as obsesses with him as he was. After he told me that, I was so turned off by him that I never tried to hit him up again and I’m fairly certain he didn’t either.