Is he cheating on me?

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The signs of a cheating boyfriend can be subtle…and you may have to rely on your instincts at first. You do, however, need to have the evidence stacked before you go accusing someone of cheating on you and believe me when I tell you, gathering the receipts is the hardest part. Here are a few red flags to look out for to clue you in to his BS.

Your partner will become very protective of his phone, because, more often than not, their phone holds all the answers that you are seeking. If you notice them holding on to their phone and being on it more than usual, or becoming defensive about their time on it, there may be something they are hiding from you.

This is actually a good reason to be friends with his friends at least on social media. If he is using his friends as alibis you can always do a little Instagram sleuthing to get some clues or hell, even straight up ask the friend, if you guys are cool like that. Either way, having an in with his buddies is always a good thing but don’t take it too far and be that girl.

Is your partner’s daily routine suddenly changing? Are they spending a lot less time with you but not providing good reasons for their sudden disappearance? This may be a sign that they are making time for the third person in their life.

Are they becoming secretive about their actions? Do they seem jittery when you ask questions about their whereabouts? Have they become less affectionate lately or are they picking fights with you over little things?

Have they made big changes to their appearance lately? Are they working out a lot, wearing cologne or perfumes when they never used to? Putting on a lot of makeup or dressing differently? Having the attention of someone new can give your self-esteem a boost, and that shows in our outer appearance. But, be careful to not confuse cheating with self-care, this can be tricky.

If you have access to their phone, go to their blocked numbers in settings and put them in your phone. (He’s most likely just checking his blocked messages box every day.) Go to Snapchat, add friends and see the people he’s blocked.

If you have access to their phone, check their Uber receipts. Rides cannot be edited or deleted.

Once you have confirmed the above suspicions, you’re going to require concrete evidence before you haphazardly accuse someone.  Download a spyapp in order to gain access to your significant other’s text messages, social media, emails and call history. You can either do this remotely for a higher price (totally worth it if you don’t have access to their phone at all) or you can install the app on their phone, hide the icon and hope they never delete it.

There is also software which allow you to recover deleted messages, which will definitely come in handy if you are dealing with a seasoned liar who knows better than to keep evidence on their phone.

It’s easy to look back and realize how willingly we choose to ignore things that are blatantly in front of our faces, screaming to be seen. 

But we don’t really see things clearly until we are ready to. 

When I was dating Israel, I chose to ignore how secretive he was, and I chalked it up to him just being a “private” person. I was, too, so it became an alibi I was comfortable with.

The last time I saw him, we had just had sex and were laying on his bed when, we heard a loud ringing coming from his closet. 

His phone that I was familiar with was on the fingerprint-stained glass table, so what was ringing?

He quickly got up, opened his closet and grabbed a phone from a shirt pocket and hastily said it was an emergency phone and walked out. 

Walked out of the whole damn apartment, not just the room. 

I could literally see him from the damn window, lol. 

It was obvious he was cheating because of how he nervously explained having a second phone, “uhhh it’s a phone that I never use, for family…”

Anyway, he took a taxi back to my place with me and that was the last time I saw him, his ass actually ghosted me before I had the chance to! Ugh, something I will always regret.