Quarantining with your partner

Is your relationship quarantine-proof?

You might be happily living with someone right now, thriving in your separate lives, and then coming together. You see each other at certain times of the day and then one or both of you leave to go to work, school, the gym or whatever it may be. It’s easy to fall into a rhythm that flows with your lives and allows you the space that most couples need to happily co-exist.

Right now, we are in a position no one in our lifetime has been in. We are in crisis mode as we hunker down with our families at home in order to avoid getting sick during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Domestic violence calls are up worldwide, addinganother public health crisis to the already ongoing toll of coronavirus. The United Nations called on Sunday for urgent action to combat the surge in domestic violence. “I urge all governments to put women’s safety first as they respond to the pandemic,” Secretary Antonio Guterres wrote on Twitter.

The way a partner psychologically and physically treats their partner can quickly change in times of personal crises. If you or someone you know is in immediate physical danger, please call 911. 

The Domestic Abuse hotline is 1-800-799-7233 or you can go to https://www.thehotline.org/ and speak to someone on the live chat. 

If you are in a relationship without abuse, and you just need a few tips to survive the quarantine being with your partner 24/7, be prepared to learn a few things about your partner (and your relationship) that you didn’t know before. It is only natural that spending time that much time together will produce conflict. This time together truly could make or break your relationship.
​
Here are a few tips to help you through this crazy history-in-the-making time. 

1. Stay productive

Sadly, many people are out of work right now because of the pandemic, but try to pencil in a schedule where you are doing things that will strengthen you. Staying productive will go a long way in normalizing the craziness that is happening right now. Try to keep the same schedule from before. Get up, have coffee together, follow a YouTube workout instead of going to the gym, and, instead of staying together for the next 10 hours and switching between Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime, separate for a few hours. 

Go to another room and work on a hobby, or plan what you’re going to do after all this ends. This alone time is going to keep you sane. If you are lucky enough to be working from home and you can’t have that alone time during working hours, then schedule it. The balance is crucial. 

Don’t forget to schedule in time to stay social. Check in with your friends and family often and set time aside to just shoot the shit, and forget about the real world for a bit. You can use apps like Zoom or Houseparty to videochat with multiple people at once and keep your social calendar active. Things will definitely be different for a while, but thanks to technology, we can adapt to a few changes. 

2. Start dating again

Create some structure in your relationship by sticking to a date night schedule. Once or twice a week, get dressed up and meet each other in a different part of the house for a date or movie night. Yes, this may sound ridiculous, because you are already spending all day, everyday with them! But, this is different. This is quality time together that will keep the romance alive. We tend to get too comfortable around our partners after a while and sometimes our efforts dwindle. Seeing each other all done up and having a real conversation without distractions will definitely spark a little something. Increase the affection throughout the day (in little ways, flirting with your spouse can be a form of foreplay!) and you’ll see the intimacy naturally go up (pun intended) as well.

3. Stop reacting to everything and communicate

Conflicts are going to happen during this time, and now is the time to work on your communication. Rather than rashly reacting to the issue, take the time to figure out which response will yield the results you desire. Find the humor and share a laugh together because things are only going to get more intense as things escalate. Communication with your partner is key, especially during these high stress moments. Little things may irk you easier, make sure each person is heard and resolve conflict. You are a team and the goal is to solve the problem together. 

Stay safe, friends.