Am I too needy?

Do you catch yourself being too needy in relationships way too fast, especially new ones? Sometimes, when you hit it off with someone, it can feel as though you’ve known this person forever and you get too comfortable too fast. You gotta hold back, though, cuz neediness is definitely on the Top 5 relationship-killer list.

It’s an oldie but a goodie. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” But, it’s true.  Don’t forget who you were before you found your boo. Sexy, independent you. So get out there, live your life and let him miss you. You don’t need to be with him 24/7 to be happy.

Don’t bring your old baggage and insecurities into the new relationship. I know it’s way easier said than done, but try to leave some of the pain and insecurities from your past relationships in the past. Would you want to be blamed for something you haven’t done? Really try to live in the moment with your new partner, the honeymoon period will live as long as you allow it and trust me, it can last years.

If you find yourself being negative or nagging often, you need to take a step back and stop putting so much pressure and strain on a new relationship. It’s not supposed to be so hard in the beginning. Sometimes we overcomplicate and overthink things because we forget that each partner is different from our past ones. No, they’re not all the same, I swear.

​When your boo does something right, then the most important thing you can do is let them know it. Positive affirmations and physical touch go a long way in building them up, especially before making requests about something they haven’t done right. You never want them to think they aren’t good enough or that you don’t appreciate what they do for you.  I promise you, making a habit of this will go a long way. 

Was I the Queen of Neediness at one time, needing contant affirmation from my boyfriends and jumping from one relationship to the next? Yes.

Did I learn something from it? Surprisingly, also yes.

I carried my baggage from toxic high school relationship to college to my 20s until it got so fucking heavy that I was miserable everyday, in my paranoid world where every man is out to cheat on me. Did I scare away someone that could have been a husband? Probably.

I know I said you should always build up your boyfriend and make him feel good about himself, but make sure that he does the same for you, and this is where I went wrong. I built them up so much they probably realized they were too good for me.