He has a girlfriend but wants to hook up with me

Did you just find out that the cute guy that you had a flirtship with has a girlfriend? I’m sure you were expecting the fun to come to a screeching halt but instead, he wants to hook up. Why? Because all guys are intrigued by the prospect of a shiny, sexy new toy.

If he has a girlfriend but still likes you, then he’s most likely bored and, since he’s already in an established relationship, he is looking for some side fun.

Bottom line: if you are attacted enough to have a one-time tryst with him without turning it into a complicated affair, then do it. Get it out of your system and afterwards, pretend it never happened. I think we’re all entitled to a sexy, secret affair at least one before we settle down. If he’s married though, I’d advise against it cuz marriage is a whole new karmic ballgame you don’t want to mess with.

BUT! He needs to be honest with you about this. If this is just a booty call to both of you, then you both need to be on the same page about it. No lovey dovey shit allowed.

If he’s persistent upon making it a habit and you feel differently, the persistence may not stop and there might be some tension. The friendship, work relationship or relations in general are going to get uncomfortable. I know the point is not to have any feelings involved, but there may have to be some preliminary discussion as to how this will all be carried out.

If, however, you are the type to get attached after sex, then DON’T DO IT. If you are the type to easily get persuaded into a long affair, then DON’T DO IT.

If you are prone to delusions of unavailable men leaving their significant others for you…DON’T DO IT.

If you are interested in something beyond a relationship, then just wait it out without interfering in their relationship. You don’t want to be responsible for their demise, but also, if this guy is looking for an out then it’s only a matter of time before he is single or gets caught.

He may also be riding high on cheating repeatedly and never getting caught, in which case, depending on what you want from him, might be a good thing. You don’t want to be thrown into a dramatic breakup, especially over social media.

Think long and hard about starting anything because you don’t want to regret it later on. Once you’ve done it, it cannot be taken back. You can pretend that you’ll both forget about it and move on, but you won’t. If you are the type of person who has always abided by the rules and wants to go against their principles for the moment, I wouldn’t start here. It may eventually bother you that you acted so out of your character. Not even that you’ve played a hand in intruding in someone else’s relationship.

What if it was you in her place? Would you justify it the same way and understand?